you traded sex for a burrito?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
