apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
