Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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