he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
false alarm, still single
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
