If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just invented taco cereal.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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