my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
