You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
