so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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