You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
