You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
