I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
