Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
