I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
