i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
