so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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