Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
