i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
