I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
