i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
