Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
