Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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