One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
