I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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