you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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