my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
