when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
