No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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