In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
