dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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