My nipple is on Facebook.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I will be naked everywhere
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
