Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
