I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
