It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
