If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
