so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
