Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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