she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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