how can u be prego again
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
