how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
