Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
