I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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