You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
