so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
