Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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