i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
