At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
