So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
