I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
