so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
