awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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