Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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