is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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